Cannes: "The Brits are (not) coming!"

Another year and another chance for British journalists to moan about the lack of British films presented in Cannes and being denied awards.

Blame the French, according to them, who year after year share the big prizes between them and the Americans.

What a lot of rubbish and how disappointing to see even the Guardian jumps on the bandwagon, getting all their facts wrong in the process.

For the record, Britain has won the Palme d'or twice recently, in 1996 and 2006, and their actors routinely pick up awards more often than any other nationalities. In comparison, France last win was in 1984 and the one before that more than 40 years ago.

Belgium won twice in the recent years, and that was good enough for even serious British papers to claim those as a French victory?!?!

Also the result is decided by an international jury of about 10 members, with no external influence. In 1999, a Belgium film, Rosetta, won the top prize, and there was accusation in the British press of the French taking over, when in fact, it was later said that this was the result of the pressure of the then members of the jury David Cronenberg, Holly Hunter and Jeff Goldblum. (What a stupid choice by the way, the year of All about my mother and Mulholland drive!).

In fact, while the French have always been supportive of British cinema, its biggest enemy is the British public itself, which is simply not interested in it in the slightest (unless it's set in the magic world of Richard Curtis' Land, and features Hugh Grant as a loveable toff) (Can I just say "Love, actually" made me want to projectile vomit, it had to be said).

Secrets and lies won the Plame d'or in 96 and was a huge success in France, yet no one bothered going to see it in Britain, same fate for last year's win, The wind that shakes the barley. And what about Red road from the young and promising British director Andrea Arnold (also the recipient of an oscar for a previous short movie). It got a prize in Cannes last year and might have been a darling of the British critics, yet it did not make a penny in here!

So heaven forbid should France win this year (even though the president of the jury is British!), there will be the usual accusation of a rigged competition in the British press (mind you they thought the British entry should have won this year's Eurovision.

On a lighter note I have been watching Striptease with Demi Moore tonight, I have been thinking about it for a while but my mind is made up, I am taking a pole dancing class this summer